How much do you control in your life and when was the last time you actually made a true decision and took action?

If you’re a bit confused by that question, stop and think about it for a bit.  Constantly being stuck, feeling trapped and lost in the pursuit of doing what you love for a living is a tough place to be in.  A very tough place to be in.

The other night, I was feeling down and I started to ask myself why. I started with going through my days in my head and came to a conclusion that my day is controlled by people other than me, and I don’t make many real decisions – decisions are made by others.

A serious lack of these two needs will increase the way gravity effects someone. It feels like weight pushing down on your shoulders, squeezing tension in the head, and short breathing is all that’s possible. How or why does this happen?

Did you ever have control?

Growing up, we are subject to the control and decisions of our parents. We are encouraged to do what we love as children. Youthfulness is full of opportunity, blue skies, and excitement – for both parents and children. Away from home, our teachers kept us in control and the decision of what we were to learn was not made by us.

If you started to work right after high school, you more than likely stepped into the control of your new Boss. The decisions were made by the Boss and over time. When starting a new job, it felt okay because it was as if you chose. it. Soon though, the weight applies and you realize you’re still no further ahead. Next thing you know, you’re being controlled by the biweekly paycheck – amount decided on by how your boss rates your performance – that shows up in your bank account.

No wonder we’re upset, lost, confused, and stressed. Following your passion is about being in control. But before you’ll be in control, you have to make the decision. You. Not you boss, teacher, or parents. You’ve never made a true decision in your life and that is why following your true passions is so difficult and scary.

A Taste of Control and Pseudo Decision Making

My first taste of control was in my pseudo decision to study Architecture at Ryerson University in Toronto.  I say pseudo because it was partly made by myself.  I was great at math and science, and had a strong connection to art.  I went away from home, and was on my own. It was the most freedom I had ever felt, and I am sure a lot of people feel the same way about their experience.

I was in control of my time! I was able to work on projects whenever and whatever I wanted, and the only thing I had to adhere to was class schedules and due dates.  Although, many people will skip class and hand in projects late.

The post secondary experience gets tough once it’s over.  If you’re like me, you returned home and needed to find a job to start paying for education, and a place of your own.  The difficulty lay in finding a job in a fashionable time and doing something related to your studies.

This was the last time I remember control.  Sound familiar?

The Decision to Pursue Passion

The one decision you must make is the one of passion.  To gain back any control, and to make any progress towards reclaiming yourself, you have to allow your passions back into your life.

Do whatever it takes.  I was so far out it – depressed beyond belief.  I still have days that kick me in the nuts (just recently I had an emotional break down).   February I finally had to go see my family doctor about my feelings and ended up requiring medication.  I am on a max dosage for my anxiety and depression, but it’s helped me take massive steps towards what I seriously love and lose track of time doing.

I believe that January of 2008 told me that I needed help. That I needed to start making my own decisions and gain control of what I love in life or I’m going to be left with big regrets.

A mind-set that anyone reading should adopt is the mind-set of doing things that matter. Think about this when you’re out playing the role of a consumer, and while in your career path.

The deeper you move in this direction, the more the world opens up to you.  The weight on the shoulders will begin to lift, doors begin to open and your breathing is much deeper in your stomach.

Reclaim Your Passion

Take a look at your personal situation.  If you’re trying to start a business, move in the direction of blogging for a living, or having trouble taking your photography to a new level, look at where you have control in your days.

There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life.

- Federico Fellini

Once you’ve located some barriers to controlling your life, brainstorm some ways that you can overcome them and gain a bit of control back.  Make this a deliberate intent to gain a bit of control where it was once lost.  You have to make that deliberate decision or you’re going to be continually stuck – no one else is going to make that decision for you.  Reclaim your passions.

Bottom Line

Make the decision to take control of your passions. Start finding ways to do what fills you up inside. Do things that matter.